Bird Whisperer

We can learn so much...

Bird Whisperer

Good day Mr Derbyshire,

I don’t know why but I get the feeling that you have a keen interest in ornithology or bird-watching as it is known to the layman, so i know you will look kindly at my funding proposal.

For many years i’ve been, like Dr Dolittle, talking to the animals. The most communicative of the animal kingdom in my research have been the birds, specifically, the Robins.

I can’t count the number of conversations I’ve had with them. They have very long memories (they pass them down father to son) so they can remember the Civil War and even the first Thanksgiving!

One even told me how his great great great great great grandad was there when Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas!

Problem is, not only are they a little bit deaf, but they don’t understand my questions so well. But i’ve invented a megaphone device that enables the red breasted creatures to both understand and hear me. I’ve made three so far but want to scale it up to become the Uber of the bird talking world!

This could really be the goose that lays the golden egg! So send me a couple of million minimum!

Cheers

Buddy J Mattes

Related Articles

Comments (1)

  • barrysmillions

    barrysmillions

    • 06 March 2017 at 10:43
    • #

    Hi Buddy

    Thanks for your beg. Unfortunately I spent several million pounds developing a similar device a few years ago. I rarely use it these days as most animals are poorly educated know-it-alls and most conversations descended into arguments and name calling.

    If you could come up with something that would enable communication with flowers and trees then I might be interested. Or maybe a device that I could use to talk to women without freaking them out! LOL! That was just a joke by the way, I can afford most women.

    All the best

    Barry

    reply

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.