Haunted Washing Machine

Demon in my Hotpoint

Haunted Washing Machine

Dearest Barry,

I’ll come straight to the point. One of my home appliances has been invaded by supernatural entities who are terrorising my family and making my life a living hell!

It began when my youngest son Nicholas tried to clean his pet chicken in the washing machine. The poor bird was killed but its blood sacrifice meant a demon was able to take up residence inside our Bosch washer dryer (which incidentally we got it on a really good deal from John Lewis).

Since then all the families clothes have smelt of sulphur and my kids go to school smelling of rotten eggs. To be fair, drying is a lot quicker now with the machine being powered by the fires of hell (but get the timing wrong and the kid’s PE kits are reduced to ashes)

I’ve contacted a ‘White Goods Witch’ through Gumtree who says she can get rid of the demon for 50K  in cash. Could you please forward me the money so I can instruct her to send this spin cycle spirit back where it came from.

Though thinking about it, it could be cheaper to buy a new washing machine. So could you send a grand for that please as well.

Yours

Kirsty

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Comments (1)

  • barrysmillions

    barrysmillions

    • 01 March 2017 at 10:34
    • #

    This just sounds crazy to me - absolutely mental. Actually unbelievable. For a start - who buys a washer/dryer anyway. They always go wrong. Then to ask for £1000 for a new one just makes me suspicious. A quick look on the Currys superstore website and you can see perfectly good washing machines for under £300.

    I've sent you £500 - should be enough. Wash your chickens in your bidet like they do in France.

    All the best Barry

    reply

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