I AM RALPH, THE KING OF THE BEGGARS
Keen hobbyists are ruining the business
I am Ralph, King of the Beggars,
I have begged this laptop to issue you with a cease and desist order on behalf of real world beggars everywhere.
I have begged around the world, I have begged my way into things, begged my way out of things, begged on my knees, begged at gunpoint, I've even begged a banana from the Sultan of Brunei. I'm the best there is.
I'm wearing one of Michael Jackson's stage outfits that I begged on very productive begging holiday in Los Angeles.
You see, Barry, begging is an art, a beautiful game, practiced by dedicated and highly motivated professionals not something to mess with.
I am concerned that your begging site opens up begging to keen hobbyist beggars, amateurs with no idea about the art. This web based begging is bad for the begging business and I fear will lead to declining begging standards.
I am begging you Barry please take this site down now before you ruin begging for all honest beggars everywhere and the true art of begging is lost for future generations.
Ralph, King of The beggars