Articles tagged with: rich

New Windows Please

Terrorized by Glass

New Windows Please

Dear Barry,

I write in desperation. You are my only hope. I think i am losing my mind!!!!!!!!

Ever since I can remember I have been stalked by a mystery figure who appears on any reflective glass surfaces in every house or place i lived or visited. Cars, stores, you name it, these figures appears!

I have no idea who this mystery figure is (i get so frightened i never look for longer than a milisecond) all i know is i get scared and lash out and have to smash the glass.

I am now live in a windowless apartment in Detroit, drink from stone beakers and have to wear chain mail gloves whenever i go out. I am at my wits end at what to do. 

Please send a couple of million dollars so I can get to the bottom of this.

Yours 

Marlon

PS The terrorizer showed up on my ipad screen as i wrote this and I had to smash the shit out of it. So please add a thousand bucks to my total.